Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Game of Cat Thrones: Cast your ballot for the 2017 Cat of the Year

It’s time for the Game of Cat Thrones, where you win or you’re not Cat of the Year.  Loyal readers may have noticed that the 2016 Elections didn’t happen.  We had to cancel it because we couldn't guarantee sanctity of the election.  There were allegations of Russian meddling, and everyone got really depressed, and suddenly it's 2017, and Winter is here.
The Game of Cat Thrones
Warning:  You should watch all 7 Seasons, before participating in the voting of the 2017 Cat of the Year.  Winter is here.

Our House has been in upheaval since Alex the stoic leader (Ned Stark) died in 2016. He was never drawn to the leadership role; it was simply his responsibility. So, he performed it nobly and steadfastly until his death.

You know what else happened this year?  We tragically lost one of our chickens, leaving us with only two dragons.  Our reptile children.
We lost one of our beloved chickens north of the wall.  These two will have to do.
We still have our fierce dire wolf, Miles (Ghost), who remains loyal to Winston.  Miles still isn’t eligible for the Game.  Still not a cat.
Winston and his loyal Dire Wolf, Miles
Let’s recap the contestants.
1.     Winston, aka The Bastard (or is he?) Jon Snow. This remarkable son of fire and ice came back from the dead after a horrible eye infection nearly took him from us.  The Lord of Light isn't done with him yet. Was it magic that brought him back? Or was it the visit to the Veterinary Ophthalmology Clinic in Spokane, where he got eyedrops made of his own plasma? Actually, that sounds like Blood Magic and we hope it doesn’t turn out to be a huge mistake like it was for Daenerys Targaryen.  It was a long, slow recovery but he is back from the dead to fulfill his true purpose. He took over the leadership role in the house, modeling himself after Alex who was always like a father (but really more like an uncle) to him.

Accomplishments: Just keeps getting stronger and more confident

Cons: Bossy about going outside and also about having running water in the bath tub. Also demanding about being lifted and settled into his special sleeping position each night (between our heads). Actually, we love that.

Eating habits: Winston eats everything; dry kibble, wet cat food, people food, dog food, old dried dog food that is on the floor that our dog has rejected.  He hardly has any teeth, and just swallows things whole.  He knows nothing, and doesn’t give a fuck. 

2.      Chester, aka Tormund Giantsbane. If you recall his history, Chester came to us as a stray, a kind of Free Folk if you will.  Looks gruffer and more judgmental than he is.  We think.  But seriously, why is he so angry?

His feet are the largest of all the cats, made for winter and life in the North.
Chester is a fair and formidable warrior and has garnered respect and admiration of Winston and fear from Miles.  Since joining House Marler-Schmetterling, he is now Winston’s most trusted lieutentent.  He is loyal and brave.
Once enemies, they are now loyal companions

Pros: Stopped humping the other cats as much. Still looks good in a lion cut. 

A lion cut suits him, perhaps angers him, too.
He has rock solid, but seldom celebrated, litter box habits.  Uses the catio but doesn't demand it like a spoiled brat.

Cons/Food: Very picky about his wet food.  He will grudgingly eat dry kibble, but prefers wet food, adjusted for the right moisture content and freshness. The flavors need to be varied daily.  Seriously, how did he develop such a sensitive palate during his days as a wildling on the streets on Missoula?


3.       Gary, aka Samwell Tarly, joined our family. Gary is large, jovial and inquisitive. A highborn, growing up in a castle in the south (Idaho), he was ultimately banished from his home and forced to find a new family here in the North (Montana), and renounce all of his allegiances and brithrights.  He is loyal and sweet and just didn’t fit his first family’s expectations. We love him dearly, but we just don't understand his character arc yet. 

Pros: Part of his exile stemmed from his lack of litterbox use.  However, since being banished to the North his litterbox use has been exemplary.  He has befriended Winston, and we think he is learning from him.  An unlikely duo, they even share litterboxes.  Gary has had only one accident, and that involved the mountain lion rug.  We can’t really fault him- we know how he and Alex feel about the Lannisters. 
He absolutely loves the catio.  In a house full of men, this gives him an opportunity to see women, the neighbors’ cats like Bonnie (aka, Gilly).  Plus, by oath, he is a watcher on the wall.

A watcher on the wall, by oath.  He said the words
Gary is still adjusting to life in the North, and now he spends a lot of time in the morning next to the heat register.  Despite his large size, he gets cold.  Southerners.
He used to sleep in the living room, then he joined us on the family bed, which we initially thought was delightful, but he is a big and prosperous cat, and takes up a lot of room.  We need a bigger bed.

Accomplishments: Improved litterbox habits!  Our vet proclaimed that he has good teeth- something previously unknown to us about any Persian cat.  It must be the result of growing up in a highborn family with good nutrition. Loves to get his belly scratched, and apparently did not come with a murder button installed on his stomach
He’s very good at developing water dragon beard.

Food: Only eats dry kibble, which is surprising given his privileged upbringing. To look at him, you’d think he ate everything.  He is large.

Cons: He snores to wake the dead.  Also, he stands annoyingly close to Winston.  He just really respects Winston but he is very socially awkward. 

Please vote your choice for the Cat of The Year 2017 and help determine who will sit on the Iron Throne.  Because, the night is dark and full of terrors, and winter has come.

Please vote on the side bar on the right on this blog, and you may have to enable the desktop versions.  These are the rules, because in the Game of Cat Thrones, you win or...


  1. It's kind of brutal to vote for one. Glad to see the contest back this year!

    1. too bad there can only be one winner, but those are the rules.